A Bit of an Explanation for the Strange Things That May Come Up During Christian Living Class. Just in Case Calla’s Teacher Reads My Blog…

Just a note that has nothing whatsoever to do with the following blog…somehow, in my mini-Spaces vacation, I failed to notice that I was up there on what used to be "What’s Your Story" and is now something different that I can’t remember, even though I just checked three seconds ago.  Ugh.  Here I was, caught with my pants down, no new blog in WEEKS and this sitting in my drafts folder awaiting proof-reading.  Lazy lazy lazy.  How long has my Space been up there, anyways?  Holy?  You know all.  You can bet I will be sending you and e-mail with this very question.  Ugh.  Or did I just say that? 

 

 

 

Dear Mrs. T…

 

Just thought I would send along a note to explain anything odd that Calla might say over the next few days.

 

Every night we say Grace before dinner.  Sometimes it is a formal Grace, complete with a very solemn sign of the Cross and sometimes it is more of a free-for-all of giving thanks for everything from being blessed with good food and loved ones to a really fun game of What Am I Thinking? that we played just prior to dinner.  The other night, Calla gave thanks for so many things that we had to reheat our meatloaf before we could eat it.  And then we had to give thanks all over again.  We finished by being very thankful that we could finally eat.

 

Tonight Calla mentioned that she wanted each of us to send up a prayer of Intention instead of our regular Grace.  Because it has been so many years since I was Catholic I had to ask Calla to demonstrate.  She told us that in class today, her prayer of intention was for the cats that used to pee in our house and her Grandpa that died. 

 

Dean caught on really quick and his prayer of intention was for all the people in the world who weren’t as lucky as we were to have healthy food (to which Calla said "blah blah blah Daddy…you say that every night…" shouldn’t she be more respectful of other people’s prayers??)

 

Sophia said a prayer of intention for the game of I Spy (?) followed by an exclamation of "Holy Sh** the soup is hot!" (a habit I hope to break her of before she comes to you in Grade One…)

 

My prayer of intention was for all the loved ones we are missing, and I added prayer of gratitude for my family and friends and the delicious-looking sushi that Dean had made and that I could not wait to eat when we were finished praying. 

 

Finally, when everybody had picked up their spoons to tuck into the lentil soup and dumplings that I had made for dinner, I looked down at my bowl and saw that gelatinous glob of floating, soggy dough and sent up a prayer of intention for all the Diddle Diddle Dumplings that had to die so that we could have dumplings in our soup.  I then took a vow of Dumplitarianism and gave my dumpling to Calla.

 

 

For a while, we happily sipped soup, slurped sushi and crunched on our salads and then Calla piped up with this stunner…"You know, Jesus died on the cross for our sins.  He was pinned there.  Actually, why would someone pin somebody on a cross?  And really, what does it mean that he died for our sins?"  I have to tell you Mrs T, that as Dean and I sat there with our soup spoons halfway to our gaping mouths, each of us was hoping the other was going to come up with something brilliant to say in response to her.  When I heard Dean take a deep breath to speak,  I sent up a silent thank you and let my spoon finish it’s journey to my mouth.  Only to spit lentils clear across the table when I heard "Well, Calla, your Mommy, whose idea it was to send you to the Catholic school, probably has the answer to that." 

 

Mrs T, the thing is, I wanted Calla to go to the Catholic school because the system is a better system than the public system, and the teachers (especially YOU, Mrs T…) are better.  Confession time though, and I can’t imagine what my penance is going to be for this biggie…I wanted Calla to understand the structure of the Catholic Faith as part of her heritage even though she is being raised in a home that has sort of taken a different road in the faith journey.  I must say, I am a bit concerned that a six year old child would come home, having been told that Jesus was ‘pinned’ to a cross and died for our sins and then rose from the dead three days later (raising all sorts of interesting questions about whether her Grandpa is going to rise from the dead, thank you very much…) and yet have no concept of what this all means.

 

So…I told Calla the truth.  That I  really had no idea what it all meant.  That I was still trying to figure it out.  I suggested that maybe the most important thing to remember about a person is what their life was about, the wonderful things they did while they were alive.  Maybe she could focus on that instead.  She asked…"Well, what did Jesus do that was wonderful?"  I figured that the best thing about Jesus was that he loved everybody, no matter who they were or what they did.  In the world we live in now, could there even be a better message than that? 

 

Calla looked very satisfied at that.  I felt pretty good about things…a good lesson about Jesus…a wonderful message that was true and important whether we choose to be practising Catholics/Christians or not.  I exhaled and took another bite of soup.  Calla took a bite of sushi.  Dean was amazed and, unless I miss my guess, pretty jealous at my clever response.  Soph was chasing her dumpling around her soup bowl with her spoon pretending the spoon was a horse.  Life was good.

 

 

Until…

 

"What about pirates, Mommy?"

 

"Hubba-wha Calla?!?!"

 

"Did he love pirates, too?"

 

"Yup," Dean said, "Pirates were a special favourite of Jesus’"

 

"And bandits, too"

 

"Yes," I said, "both bandits and their Spanish counterparts, the banditos were equally loved by Jesus.  Pass the wasabi, please…"

 

So, Mrs. T…if Calla mentions Jesus, pins, pirates and banditos during Christian Living class next week…at least you will be prepared.

 

Yours Most Sincerely, and In All Seriousness…

 

Alison (and Dean, even though he took the coward’s way out…)

 

 

A religion that is small enough for our understanding would not be large enough for our needs. 

Arthur James Balfour 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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